THE//WHY

Asking yourself "Why?" before taking any big step is usually a good idea. Motivation often weighs as much as action, so uncovering and purifying the impetus of an endeavor is paramount. Why am I going to this college? Dating that person? Praying these prayers? Living in South Africa?

By God's grace, I deeply hope we can identify Christ as the driving force of every decision, major or minor. So when asking ourselves why we do missions, do we find the Lord at the center of our intentions? I answered yes… and no.

Raised in a beautifully missions-focused home and church, I am deeply convinced that Christ-followers have been charged with communicating the Gospel to a dying, hell-bound world. God doesn't need us, but has chosen to use us as Good News messengers. He doesn't ask us to make disciples of all nations, He tells us to. But is our mission solely to rescue guilty people from a deserved eternal damnation? Are humans our  motivating force for mission work?

The truth is that they shouldn't be.

The eternal fate of other people is incredibly, monumentally important; I can't express how fully I believe that. However, when it comes to missions, salvation of people is outranked only  by the glory of God. Glorifying God is our absolute answer to the Why of missions… and the Why of everything else, for that matter. (Eating or drinking or whatever you do, do it ALL for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31)

God designed humankind to enjoy His perfection, to worship and glorify the One who is worthy of all praise. Sin created a massive chasm between a holy God and fallen man. As Romans 3:23 declares, ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Paul cries out that the sin and separation of even one person rob God of the glory He is due.  The deepest problem is not really that man's eternity is at stake. The deepest problem is that God's glory is at stake. Our salvation, at its core, is not for us. It is for the eternal, deserved glory of Almighty God.

Scripture repeatedly proclaims that people of all tribes, tongues, and nations will one day stand before the throne of God, an idea that culminates in Revelation 7. The Lord will not be robbed of an ounce of His due glory. It is therefore incumbent upon us to deliver the Message that has the power to reconcile man with God and to return man to his rightful purpose of glorifying God, Creator and Lover of our wretched souls.

G.K. Chesterson wrote: "We men and women are all in the same boat, upon a stormy sea. We owe to each other a terrible and tragic loyalty." I agree wholeheartedly with Chesterson because I have received a salvation of which I am completely unworthy, and I feel an enormous responsibility to relay the Gospel to my fellow drowning shipmates. But I must continue to place the glorification of the Savior, rather than the fate of the saved, as the answer to my WHY.  Because when God is glorified, the salvation of man is a beautiful and guaranteed consequence. And that is Good News.

//HOME

As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7

I was absolutely blindsided by the homesickness I experienced the first few days of orientation. I love my home, but I also love leaving my home to visit new places, so I never expected to miss my family so intensely. The jam-packed busyness of daytime kept my mind occupied, but the quiet stillness of night allowed thoughts of home and family and friends to overwhelm me. The loneliness was a physical pain, and my short five month term suddenly seemed decades long. In a really strange attempt to cope, I pretended to be origin-less, without a home or family to miss.

The homesickness led to a lot of questioning of what home is, what home means. My home is my family, my friends, my rituals. Sleeping in my bed, taking walks with my mom, eating dinner with my sister, doing school work with Rachel and Caroline, hearing my dad preach. These are barometers to my brain that  gauge whether life is okay, that all is well. When stripped of all of those signals of comfort, I felt uprooted and incredibly scared. In the middle of those dark nights inside strange rooms, I begged the Lord to bind me up and to numb the pain. But, as always, He did me one better. Instead of immunizing me to homesickness, He taught me where my home truly is.

As Colossians 2 says, when we walk with Jesus we are rooted and established in Him. A relationship with Christ provides us with roots, with a home in Him. I can abound in thanksgiving because I belong with Jesus, who does not leave or forsake me. So while the people I love so deeply are far away, I can still belong in Africa. This is the truth the Lord repeatedly whispered in my ear as I struggled to fall asleep on the floor of an African family I had met two hours earlier. This is what He told me as I boarded a crowded bus headed to a village I had never heard of. These are the words He shouted into the terribly long silences of language barriers. When you walk with Me, you are Home. 

Update: My roommates and I are finally settled into a flat and a routine. We  received our first big design assignment, worked in a preschool (or creche) for orphans and vulnerable children in a nearby township, and visited a local Baptist church. We even adventured to Soweto for a little bungee-jumping. Not a bad first week of work, eh?

//ORIENTED

Challenging. Terrifying. Enriching. Confusing. Incredible. All these words are understatements when it comes to describing the last ten days. I am glad they are over, but, man, am I thankful for them.

My Hands On term began with about a week of orientation with 13 phenomenal students in Botswana. I will spare you specifics of the experience, but (in the words of our Student Strategist Andy Pettigrew) "we drank in culture from a fire hydrant." Among our adventures: piles of mopani worms, an immigration interrogation, chicken beheadings, lots of public transit with very few directions, cow liver, a three day homestay with a local African family, a shameful number of shower-less days, Muslim mortuaries, 3 AM wakeup calls, and fat cakes. The really fun part? We were never told what was coming next. We were orientated through a technique called "inoculated stress" in which we are put under extreme amounts of pressure in a controlled environment.  Consider me vaccinated.

Camera use was very sporadic, so here are a few shots from some of the more peaceful moments of orientation. I'm happy to have two photographer roommates (Katy and Hayley) who captured some moments with our beautiful host family, the Chitogwas. The bottom photo is the entire Hands On team, which will be scattered all around Sub-Saharan Africa. They are legendary people.

 I can't express my appreciation for your prayers and support. The Lord has been faithful and good, as always. I pray that every moment of our toiling would bring glory to Him. He is so, so worthy.

BRANCH//VINE

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5 In a little under three days my life will be changing in some considerable ways. Instead of returning to school this semester, I am relocating to Johannesburg, South Africa, where I have the distinct privilege of working as a missionary for the International Mission Board. This is exciting news -- the happy kind of exciting and the scary kind of exciting. Admittedly, my decision to take this opportunity wasn't solely motivated by a desire to do mission work (although that was a big part of it). I felt it was time for me to grow up. Get brave. Overcome fears that make me weak. And I really thought that's what I was doing by  moving to a country 8,000 miles from my home, family, and friends. But, as is so often the case, I had missed the whole point of this experience. I don't pretend that my semester abroad requires particular bravery for most people. It's not that big of a deal, really. But certain things I will have to do in the next six months scare me to death. I hate that. Over the past several years I have become acutely aware of and disgusted by the fears I allow to dominate my life, so I decided to kill those fears. I have become a little obsessed with bravery, to be honest. I took the advice of the incomparable Eleanor Roosevelt to "do the thing you think you cannot do."  But the Lord, as He is so very good at doing, taught me how wrong Eleanor and I were.I am human. By definition I am weak, afraid, and sick. I do nothing, absolutely nothing, by my own power. I'm not making my lungs suck in air right now. I am not telling my neurons to fire or my fingers to type. So why am I under the impression that I can will myself to be brave? That's not my job. That's a job for the same One who keeps my heart beating. That's the job of the VINE. He is the VINE. I am just a branch. He gives me nutrients, oxygen, life. As I read John 15 last night, I was dumbfounded that, on one hand, I could claim dependence on my God while, on the other hand, remaining convinced that I could make myself braver. Do not mishear me: I am still certain that bravery is one of the rarest and most valuable of human traits. But real, true bravery can only be supplied by the One who overcame death (the ultimate source of fear) so that we could live life abundantly and fearlessly. It is through the VINE we are brave. And, in turn, we are brave so that we may glorify our Vine, our God.  So, dear friends, as I ask for your prayers during this time, I ask for the bravery rooted in the deep peace and empowerment that comes from  knowing Jesus Christ. His death means I have no fear in my death. That also means no fear in flying, no fear in injury, no fear in robbery, no fear in inadequacy, no fear in lostness, no fear in homesickness. This is good news! This is why I, the coward of all cowards, can do what I'm about to do. To God be the glory!I'm tweaking Eleanor's words a bit: I'm letting HIM do the things I know I cannot do alone. I think she would approve.

CALLIGRAPHY

This month I had the honor of doing calligraphy for the wedding invitations of a dear friend! 
I know she will be the stunning centerpiece of a beautiful wedding. Congratulations, KA!

CHRISTMAS//2012

All eleven Wolves celebrated "Christmas" together this year on December 29th. A few traditions we observed: brunch on Christmas morning, sibling gift exchange, eggnog at midnight, a big fire in the fireplace, letters from my dad, and adding to our respective collections. (I collect music boxes, Sarah gets first-edition books, et cetera.) It couldn't have been a happier day!

REVIEW//2012

[january]: passion 2012, followed by the annual janterm in california.

[february]: participated in step sing for the first time!

[march]: celebrated my birthday during spring break in LA.

[april]: journeyed to six flags and passion city church in atlanta. 

[may]: followed up mary austin's nursing school/college graduation with a trip to new york.

[june]: mary austin + andrew forever!

[july]: a post-wedding week of beach rehab and a family reunion in san marcos, texas.

[august]: spent the month in lexington with some of my favorite people and saw
mumford & sons live in louisville. 

[september]: spent a magical weekend in knoxville. 

[october]: ran up to lexington for fall break, then the fantastic four made
our annual jaunt to nashville. 

[november]: saw ben gibbard in atlanta, then celebrated thanksgiving in florence.

[december]: took a girls' trip to opryland, then made too many
wonderful christmas memories to count with friends and family in montgomery.

FLORENCE//MISSISSIPPI

Thanksgiving from Alex Wolf on Vimeo.

I put together a little video of some moments from Thanksgiving this year. Upon watching it again, I realize that it's kind of a boring video unless you know and dearly love the people in it. It just so happens that I do know and love these people, so I think it's the sweetest video ever! Enoy!

OVER//FLOW

i was recently given the honor of designing a tattoo for my dear becca. after "dating" the idea of this tattoo for four years, she finally decided to get hitched! i got to tag along and watch becca get inked this week. pretty cool to think my handwriting has been permanently etched onto the skin of such a legendary girl!

may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

[romans 15:13]

GIVING//THANKS

we are headed to florence, mississippi, to celebrate thanksgiving with my mom's huge, wonderful family. i could fill a book with gratitudes, but here are a few things i am particularly thankful for at the moment. sometimes i feel like the most fortunate girl in the world. life is pretty wonderful. i hope you're feeling that way, too.

[photo]

SPOOKY//WEEKEND

Every Halloween weekend since freshman year "the friends" have made the trek to Brentwood/Franklin/Nashville, Tennessee, to visit Rachel and Andrew's Aunt Regie. It is literally one of the most anticipated events of the fall around these parts. Requirements for the Annual Spooky Weekend: marshmallow roasting, viewing of an awful horror movie in the Man Cave, the Downtown Franklin Halloween Festival, pennies on the railroad tracks, Ghosthunters marathon, a foray into Nashville, pretending to watch the Auburn game, and scary stories sponsored by Regie. I'm already counting down to 2013's trip!

SHAKER//TOWN

Fall Break arrived this week in all its glory! Rachel and I were fortunate enough to head north to Lexington, Kentucky, to see my sister Sarah and family (including this newly one-year-old girl). We had such a wonderful time! On Sunday we visited a nearby Shaker settlement... here are a few photos from the afternoon in Shakertown.

ROCKY//TOP

I had the pleasure of visiting Knoxville with a few friends earlier this month. We had a wonderful time... ate good food, had good talks, watched good football, and hiked a good trail (that was a little more challenging than advertised, if we're being real). Knoxville had gotten the fall weather memo, which we LOVED since Birmingham still thinks it's July. Can't wait to go back!

BABY//GLORY

There are few things on Earth as perfect as my niece Glory... except maybe my nephew James. I have been massively blessed to get to see Glory tons this summer, including a three week stay at her home in Kentucky this month. I came across these photos from earlier in the summer and thought the internet would be a better place with them here. 

CHALK//ART

Have I mentioned that my sister got married this summer? Yes? Are you sure? Well, the wedding gave me a chance to spend some quality time with chalk lettering. I've been interested in chalking for a few months now, so I was really excited to experiment with it for Mary's reception. I did about 12 or 13 large pieces that were hung around the building. I think they turned out so well and really appreciated Mary trusting me with the job! What a girl!

I'm pretty sure I'll have chalk dust in my lungs for the rest of time, but that's a small price to pay in the name of love and aesthetic. 

Thanks to my brother for the photos! 

RAINBOW//CONNECTION

I've lighted in Lexington, Kentucky, this month for some quality time with my sister Sarah, her husband Jeremiah, and my spectacular niece Glory! Glory's room needed some livening up, so Sarah and I took on the task of dyeing a plain white rug. Dyeing was a new frontier for the two of us, so here's a look at our brave journey into the unknown.  

We love it! And Glory keeps trying to lick it, so we think she loves it, too! Turns out, dyeing stuff is fun, easy, and rewarding! I want to try the wall-to-wall carpeting next. Good idea?

NEW//YORK

My family took a little trip up to New York in May to take a bite out of the Big Apple (or so my dad kept saying loudly on the subway). In keeping with Wolf tradition, we saw every monument, museum, attraction, and site open to the public (and sometimes saw those not open to the public) in the short time we had. Jay Wolf invented YOLO, you guys. You don't sleep if you're traveling with that man.  Here are a few photos from our wonderful trip.

 The 9/11 Memorial. Really touching and triumphant. 

 Times Square. Nightmare of the misanthrope, to be sure. 

 Empire State. Cue the song! IT WILL BE STUCK IN YOUR HEAD FOR DAYS. I'm not sorry!

 Statue of Liberty. Sort of mandatory. 

 Ellis Island, which I really loved.

THE DECONSTRUCTION PROJECT NEVER DIES. Shout out to Richard Dendy. 

30 Rock. No Liz Lemon sightings. Blurg! 

 The beautiful Saint Patrck's Cathedral during morning mass.

Grand Central Station. 

 Happy happy lunch at the incredible River Cafe, which was located in a boat beneath the Brooklyn Bridge. Such stunning views. Thanks, Dad!

Little walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, which was one of the best things we did. 

 Magnolia Bakery. More mandatory than the Statue of Liberty, tbh.

A farewell picnic in Central Park. Had to stop by and say hello to Alice, naturally.

Such a great week. But it's not hard to beat our last trip to New York, during which my brother pulled my dress over my head in Times Square.